The best spouse relationships are based on love and respect. That goes without saying, doesn’t it? Everyone probably realizes that love and respect are crucial to having a good marriage. But, beyond love and respect there are a few things that can help spouse relationships.
Think back to when you were first married. If you’re newly married, think back to when you first met and were dating. How did you treat your partner? You probably treated your partner with respect, but also with kindness and thoughtfulness.
Unfortunately, it’s common that the longer we know someone, the less kind we tend to be toward them. One would think that the opposite holds true. But we start to take the other person for granted and think they’ll always be there, no matter what.
Think of the last time you went to the bank or grocery store and spoke to the cashier. Maybe you exchanged words with a stranger. How was the tone of your voice and your words? You probably sounded like the sweetest person on the planet. That person might have thought “how polite” when you walked away.
Now think to the words and the tone of the voice you use with your spouse sometimes. When you get angry or you’re unhappy about something, think about how you sound. Would you ever speak that way to a stranger? If you’re thinking “probably not” then you’ve started taking advantage of your spouse.
People do it with close friends, parents and children, too. If we could record people’s conversations and play them back at a different time, people might be ashamed of how they sounded. And they probably wouldn’t speak that way to someone they didn’t know well for fear of hurting their feelings!
Good spouse relationships are kind ones. Everyone gets angry now and then. And yes, everyone says things he or she regrets in an angry and even hateful tone of voice. But you can keep these instances to a minimum by just thinking about whether you’d talk to your postman or your boss that way.
Thoughtfulness is also an important factor in good spouse relationships. People love their spouses, but it seems the longer they’re together, they less they sometimes show it. Your spouse is one person you should make a point of being thoughtful toward, too.
In the beginning when you’re first dating someone or first married, you might send (or receive) flowers, cards and little surprises. Generally after people are married for a while, these sorts of things slow down or stop. Remembering to be thoughtful and surprise your spouse can help makes yours one of the better spouse relationships.
Try to keep in mind that marriage isn’t written in stone. There really are other opportunities out there for your spouse. Bring back some of the things you did and said when you were trying to win this person. Be kind and thoughtful as much as you can. Those combined with love and respect will make yours one of the enduring spouse relationships.
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The Smart Way To Ending A Relationship 800 AM - Go To Work
9:15 AM - Office meeting
1:30 PM - Sales presentation
6:00 PM - Break up with my significant other
Let's face it, for most of us, that kind of schedule looks pretty funny. While we may not schedule a break up that way, there are times when something needs to be done, and somebody needs to make the first move. A lot of relationships last much longer than they probably should for no other reason than breaking up isn't an easy thing to do.
Relationships typically end in a few basic ways. There is the dramatic break up. This type can be very sudden and usually involves strong words or actions. There is the mutual break up where both parties come to the realization that it's over, and do so at the same time. It's almost as if it happens by magic. It's also the most rare. Finally, there is the slow break up. This is characterized by things degrading over time. The sad thing is that neither party may even know they are headed for a break up until it's far too late.
So, how can you end a bad relationship without either party getting hurt?
The first step is to know why you want to break up. But don't assume that the first reason you come up with is the real reason. You need to find the underlying cause of wanting to break up. Having a clear and accurate idea of why you're breaking up will make the process go smoother for both parties. That's because you will be operating from a position of honesty, and that's key.
Set a time to discuss things that is convenient for both of you. If at all possible do this face-to-face. It's really not the kind of thing that should be handled via e-mail or over the phone. The only exception s for long-distance relationships where you won't be able to get together for a while. It's better to end things quickly, than it is to delay the inevitable.
Keeping things positive when ending a relationship is a smart move. Just because you are ending a romance doesn't mean you have to make an enemy. Be nice to each other and treat each other with respect. Don't get defensive, and don't make the other person defensive, either. If they start crying, be compassionate. At the same time, be aware that it may be an attempt to manipulate you. You can still be nice, but don't let them make you do something you don't really want to do.
Finally, at this stage, getting back together in the future is probably the last thing on your mind. However, it is always a possibility. By ending a relationship the right way, you will have a better chance of being together at a later time, should that be something you would like to do. Either way, breaking doesn't have to be hard to do. Follow the tips above and you can both move on and be happy that you did.
1:30 PM - Sales presentation
6:00 PM - Break up with my significant other
Let's face it, for most of us, that kind of schedule looks pretty funny. While we may not schedule a break up that way, there are times when something needs to be done, and somebody needs to make the first move. A lot of relationships last much longer than they probably should for no other reason than breaking up isn't an easy thing to do.
Relationships typically end in a few basic ways. There is the dramatic break up. This type can be very sudden and usually involves strong words or actions. There is the mutual break up where both parties come to the realization that it's over, and do so at the same time. It's almost as if it happens by magic. It's also the most rare. Finally, there is the slow break up. This is characterized by things degrading over time. The sad thing is that neither party may even know they are headed for a break up until it's far too late.
So, how can you end a bad relationship without either party getting hurt?
The first step is to know why you want to break up. But don't assume that the first reason you come up with is the real reason. You need to find the underlying cause of wanting to break up. Having a clear and accurate idea of why you're breaking up will make the process go smoother for both parties. That's because you will be operating from a position of honesty, and that's key.
Set a time to discuss things that is convenient for both of you. If at all possible do this face-to-face. It's really not the kind of thing that should be handled via e-mail or over the phone. The only exception s for long-distance relationships where you won't be able to get together for a while. It's better to end things quickly, than it is to delay the inevitable.
Keeping things positive when ending a relationship is a smart move. Just because you are ending a romance doesn't mean you have to make an enemy. Be nice to each other and treat each other with respect. Don't get defensive, and don't make the other person defensive, either. If they start crying, be compassionate. At the same time, be aware that it may be an attempt to manipulate you. You can still be nice, but don't let them make you do something you don't really want to do.
Finally, at this stage, getting back together in the future is probably the last thing on your mind. However, it is always a possibility. By ending a relationship the right way, you will have a better chance of being together at a later time, should that be something you would like to do. Either way, breaking doesn't have to be hard to do. Follow the tips above and you can both move on and be happy that you did.
4 Great Lessons From Relationships Experts
If you’ve read or listened to relationships experts, you know that some of what they say is just common sense. They tell us things we already know, but they’re great at putting it into words and examples that make things easier to understand. The best relationships experts just know how to communicate.
They can take those common sense things and say them in a way that makes you “get it.” Like the concept of what to expect and what to give in a relationship. This is one of the best lessons you can get from relationships experts.
Very often we go along in a relationship and as time goes on we start to take the other person for granted a little bit. We don’t thank them as much, and sometimes we don’t do nice things in return for them quite as much.
It’s not that we don’t want to, but that we simply forget or think there will be time later. After the relationship hit a rocky period and ended and you’ve gotten back together, remember to be thoughtful and kind becomes very important. Relationships experts stress that as a good way to keep a relationship strong.
A second great lesson from the experts is to do what the other person will appreciate. This is another great common sense lesson that’s all too easy to overlook. It applies to anytime during a relationship but after you’ve gotten back together from a break up or other bad patch it’s even more important.
To do what the other person wants doesn’t mean you should never consider yourself. But you should try to do what appeals to them to show them that you care. If it really makes you happy when your boyfriend helps you wash the dishes, then maybe if you helped him with some housework that would make him feel loved, too.
But there may be ways he likes to feel loved that are different. He might be the type of person who likes to hear you say it often, or likes romantic gestures. Even if those things aren’t as important to you, you need to do the things that are special to him.
Sometimes we forget that, or we just assume that everyone responds to the same things. But doing what makes the other person feel most special is easy to do, as long as we remind ourselves to do it.
And a lesson that the experts teach that often goes forgotten is respect. Of course, you respect your boyfriend or girlfriend, but does it always show? This is part of taking them for granted but goes beyond not thanking them or returning loving gestures.
Often, the person we’re closest to gets the brunt our worst days. We might be late for something and keep them waiting, or we might just accidentally be inconsiderate and not apologize enough. Take a lesson from the relationships experts and ask yourself if you treat your partner with the same respect you would treat a parents or co-worker.
They can take those common sense things and say them in a way that makes you “get it.” Like the concept of what to expect and what to give in a relationship. This is one of the best lessons you can get from relationships experts.
Very often we go along in a relationship and as time goes on we start to take the other person for granted a little bit. We don’t thank them as much, and sometimes we don’t do nice things in return for them quite as much.
It’s not that we don’t want to, but that we simply forget or think there will be time later. After the relationship hit a rocky period and ended and you’ve gotten back together, remember to be thoughtful and kind becomes very important. Relationships experts stress that as a good way to keep a relationship strong.
A second great lesson from the experts is to do what the other person will appreciate. This is another great common sense lesson that’s all too easy to overlook. It applies to anytime during a relationship but after you’ve gotten back together from a break up or other bad patch it’s even more important.
To do what the other person wants doesn’t mean you should never consider yourself. But you should try to do what appeals to them to show them that you care. If it really makes you happy when your boyfriend helps you wash the dishes, then maybe if you helped him with some housework that would make him feel loved, too.
But there may be ways he likes to feel loved that are different. He might be the type of person who likes to hear you say it often, or likes romantic gestures. Even if those things aren’t as important to you, you need to do the things that are special to him.
Sometimes we forget that, or we just assume that everyone responds to the same things. But doing what makes the other person feel most special is easy to do, as long as we remind ourselves to do it.
And a lesson that the experts teach that often goes forgotten is respect. Of course, you respect your boyfriend or girlfriend, but does it always show? This is part of taking them for granted but goes beyond not thanking them or returning loving gestures.
Often, the person we’re closest to gets the brunt our worst days. We might be late for something and keep them waiting, or we might just accidentally be inconsiderate and not apologize enough. Take a lesson from the relationships experts and ask yourself if you treat your partner with the same respect you would treat a parents or co-worker.
How To Get Your Relationships Needs Met
If you can get your relationships needs met, the relationship has a better chance of being long and happy. Not having your needs met is one of the biggest reasons relationships don’t work out. And after a break up, it’s especially important to have your relationships needs met to stay happy and stay together.
The surefire way to get your needs met in a relationship is by making sure the other person knows just what those needs are. You can’t read minds, and you shouldn’t expert your partner to be able to read minds either. He or she wants to make sure your relationships needs are met, so tell them what they are.
At the same time, encourage your partner to tell you the needs he or she feels are important. You might be surprised to learn, if you’ve never had this conversation before, how different your needs might be.
You might feel the need for you partner to tell you he loves you often, so may you do that for him. He no doubt enjoys that, but maybe what he really needs is for you to do quick considerate things to make him feel special. Some people like to be told, and some people like to be shown.
Simply having a discussion about your relationships needs can strengthen the relationship and make it easier for you to keep each other happy. If you’re uncomfortable having such a frank discussion, you should do it anyway. Telling each other your needs is better than hinting or expecting them to be psychic.
You may really need your partner to be more helpful to you. But when it’s time to clean or wash dishes you do them alone, yet again. And instead of simply asking for help or letting him know that it would mean a lot to you if he would do them sometimes or do them with you, you get angry.
You might huff around while you’re doing them, slam a cabinet, or act otherwise put out. This is passive aggressive behavior. You’re trying to manipulate him into helping you by acting that way. It’s much better and healthier to simply ask for help.
Passive aggressive behavior is common in relationships, and it’s a worsening cycle because it doesn’t work. If he does take your hint, it’s only after you’ve acted put upon, angry and resentful. So his doing the dishes might be only to keep you from acting that way.
If you ask for help and explain that it makes you feel good when he wants to help you, then he’s coming at the task from a place of love and helpfulness. He doesn’t feel guilted into doing it, so it’s better for everyone.
This applies to things like showing affection, respecting each other’s feelings, and every aspect of your relationship. When you want something, ask for it, and be prepared to give your partner what he or she asks for to make sure all your relationships needs are met.
The surefire way to get your needs met in a relationship is by making sure the other person knows just what those needs are. You can’t read minds, and you shouldn’t expert your partner to be able to read minds either. He or she wants to make sure your relationships needs are met, so tell them what they are.
At the same time, encourage your partner to tell you the needs he or she feels are important. You might be surprised to learn, if you’ve never had this conversation before, how different your needs might be.
You might feel the need for you partner to tell you he loves you often, so may you do that for him. He no doubt enjoys that, but maybe what he really needs is for you to do quick considerate things to make him feel special. Some people like to be told, and some people like to be shown.
Simply having a discussion about your relationships needs can strengthen the relationship and make it easier for you to keep each other happy. If you’re uncomfortable having such a frank discussion, you should do it anyway. Telling each other your needs is better than hinting or expecting them to be psychic.
You may really need your partner to be more helpful to you. But when it’s time to clean or wash dishes you do them alone, yet again. And instead of simply asking for help or letting him know that it would mean a lot to you if he would do them sometimes or do them with you, you get angry.
You might huff around while you’re doing them, slam a cabinet, or act otherwise put out. This is passive aggressive behavior. You’re trying to manipulate him into helping you by acting that way. It’s much better and healthier to simply ask for help.
Passive aggressive behavior is common in relationships, and it’s a worsening cycle because it doesn’t work. If he does take your hint, it’s only after you’ve acted put upon, angry and resentful. So his doing the dishes might be only to keep you from acting that way.
If you ask for help and explain that it makes you feel good when he wants to help you, then he’s coming at the task from a place of love and helpfulness. He doesn’t feel guilted into doing it, so it’s better for everyone.
This applies to things like showing affection, respecting each other’s feelings, and every aspect of your relationship. When you want something, ask for it, and be prepared to give your partner what he or she asks for to make sure all your relationships needs are met.
To Win Back An Ex Avoid Making These Two Mistakes
Why is it sometimes so difficult to win back an ex? No doubt you've tried your best to get your love back, but everything you've tried so far has ended in failure and now you're desperate and frustrated.
Well the real answer of why it's difficult to win back an ex is really two fold. The first point is that once you've been dumped by someone you're still in love with the balance of power immediately shifts their way. The second point is that most people have no real idea what to do to successfully get back with someone they love and end up spending a great deal of time racing around doing all the wrong things.
Truth is, once your ex has the upper hand in a relationship you can find yourself forever trying to catch up to them and both of you know it. If your ex knows that you want them back often times they will make you work to get them back and they will often enjoy the drama of putting you through getting them back. Plainly put, they have something that you desperately want and boy do they know it.
To win back an ex then, play it cool! You don't have to declare straight away to your ex that you want them back. You simply keep that intention to yourself and make every effort to distance yourself from them.
If you're reading this because you feel you know that your love is about to break up with you, then when the break up comes agree to it calmly and rationally and let them go. Don't give them a clue that you desperately want them to stay.
When they've gone, work at keeping yourself busy and occupied with other things that are not centered around your ex and your relationship. Don't make yourself readily available to them to chat or do favors for them. If they call, be polite, chat for a couple of minutes, but make it clear you're busy and have places to go.
Here's a warning for you! Many people faced with trying to distance themselves from their exs simply can't do it! They mistakenly believe that if they run around doing favors for their exs that their ex will see them as someone they need. They think they will be able to prove and show their exs how much they love them by being there for them! Wrong! This seldom works because all that happens is that the ex either gets fed up with them hanging around in their life or the ex will start to take advantage. So don't fall into that trap!
Keep your distance and what will begin to happen is that you will feel the power naturally swing your way and you will be in a far better position to win back ex.
Well the real answer of why it's difficult to win back an ex is really two fold. The first point is that once you've been dumped by someone you're still in love with the balance of power immediately shifts their way. The second point is that most people have no real idea what to do to successfully get back with someone they love and end up spending a great deal of time racing around doing all the wrong things.
Truth is, once your ex has the upper hand in a relationship you can find yourself forever trying to catch up to them and both of you know it. If your ex knows that you want them back often times they will make you work to get them back and they will often enjoy the drama of putting you through getting them back. Plainly put, they have something that you desperately want and boy do they know it.
To win back an ex then, play it cool! You don't have to declare straight away to your ex that you want them back. You simply keep that intention to yourself and make every effort to distance yourself from them.
If you're reading this because you feel you know that your love is about to break up with you, then when the break up comes agree to it calmly and rationally and let them go. Don't give them a clue that you desperately want them to stay.
When they've gone, work at keeping yourself busy and occupied with other things that are not centered around your ex and your relationship. Don't make yourself readily available to them to chat or do favors for them. If they call, be polite, chat for a couple of minutes, but make it clear you're busy and have places to go.
Here's a warning for you! Many people faced with trying to distance themselves from their exs simply can't do it! They mistakenly believe that if they run around doing favors for their exs that their ex will see them as someone they need. They think they will be able to prove and show their exs how much they love them by being there for them! Wrong! This seldom works because all that happens is that the ex either gets fed up with them hanging around in their life or the ex will start to take advantage. So don't fall into that trap!
Keep your distance and what will begin to happen is that you will feel the power naturally swing your way and you will be in a far better position to win back ex.
I Have An Ex Boyfriend To Get Back How Do I Go About It
If you have an ex boyfriend to get back, pretty much you're no doubt struggling to keep your composure and your dignity! Well the honest truth is that if you fail to hold onto to your composure and your dignity, then any chance of getting your ex boyfriend back will probably be lost.
So, it's time to stop acting like a pouting princess and instead start behaving like a responsible and mature young woman who knows her own mind and is capable of making tough decisions.
Now, discovering that you have an ex boyfriend to get back means you're really going to need to look at whatever it was that caused the split between the two of you in the first place. If you dumped him on a whim because of something that he did and you have now put what happened into perspective, then without a doubt, you're going to have to do some apologizing and back peddling. So take a deep breath, stay calm and go and see him. Tell him that you have had time to think and you're now ready to forgive and forget. Not only that, you would also like to apologize for any over reaction on your part. With any luck that will be the end of the rift and you will have succeeded in getting him back.
However, if there is more to it or he doesn't accept your apology and you find you still have an ex boyfriend to get back, then you're going to have to do some more work.
Look at yourself! If you find yourself constantly in turmoil with your love life, then take a long hard look at what might be causing the problem. If you have issues about your own behavior that has caused comments from others or that you're not happy with, then face them. Truth is, if you are going to make a success of this relationship or any future relationship, then you have to take the long hard walk and sort yourself out.
Here are some clues! Avoid making decisions when you're emotional. You will probably make a ton of wrong decisions if you are not calm and have not thought through outcomes and consequences. Especially true, if you have an ex boyfriend to get back, because emotions and gestures are definitely the wrong approach to take to a love life in turmoil.
So, think clearly and take your time about your approach to win him back. Present him with valid and tangible reasons why this time around the relationship will be different and so stand a chance of working. At all costs, dump the pouting princess and reveal to him a grown up and capable young woman he can have some fun with.
So, it's time to stop acting like a pouting princess and instead start behaving like a responsible and mature young woman who knows her own mind and is capable of making tough decisions.
Now, discovering that you have an ex boyfriend to get back means you're really going to need to look at whatever it was that caused the split between the two of you in the first place. If you dumped him on a whim because of something that he did and you have now put what happened into perspective, then without a doubt, you're going to have to do some apologizing and back peddling. So take a deep breath, stay calm and go and see him. Tell him that you have had time to think and you're now ready to forgive and forget. Not only that, you would also like to apologize for any over reaction on your part. With any luck that will be the end of the rift and you will have succeeded in getting him back.
However, if there is more to it or he doesn't accept your apology and you find you still have an ex boyfriend to get back, then you're going to have to do some more work.
Look at yourself! If you find yourself constantly in turmoil with your love life, then take a long hard look at what might be causing the problem. If you have issues about your own behavior that has caused comments from others or that you're not happy with, then face them. Truth is, if you are going to make a success of this relationship or any future relationship, then you have to take the long hard walk and sort yourself out.
Here are some clues! Avoid making decisions when you're emotional. You will probably make a ton of wrong decisions if you are not calm and have not thought through outcomes and consequences. Especially true, if you have an ex boyfriend to get back, because emotions and gestures are definitely the wrong approach to take to a love life in turmoil.
So, think clearly and take your time about your approach to win him back. Present him with valid and tangible reasons why this time around the relationship will be different and so stand a chance of working. At all costs, dump the pouting princess and reveal to him a grown up and capable young woman he can have some fun with.
To Win Ex Boyfriend Back You Might Need To Work On Yourself
So you've just heard through friends that your ex boyfriend, who you've never really got over, is dating someone else and hearing it cuts deep. Your first thought is that you must win ex boyfriend back before he gets too serious with this other girl.
Well take it easy and don't go rushing head long into this, what you have on your side that the current girlfriend does not have is history! In your effort to win ex boyfriend back remember, history can sometimes over ride everything else and take precedence.
Now think about that history, those good times with your ex boyfriend. How good were they really, because clearly something went terribly wrong. With time we often slide on the old rose colored spectacles. So be sure that your memories are grounded in reality and not fantasy.
If you're not sure, before you go full on trying to win ex boyfriend back, ask a good friend who will tell you the truth and not only what you want to hear. Weigh up what your friend says and what you honestly know and feel and then make your decision about what you want to do.
If what you discover is that certain aspects of your behavior were primarily to blame for the break down in your ex relationship, then you need to find ways of amending that behavior. There's no point in trying to get back together with your ex if the reason he left you is still staring you both in the face. So deal with what needs to be dealt with on your part before you make any real attempt at reconciliation.
Assuming that you decide to go ahead and try and get your ex boyfriend back, you then need to make contact with him. Call him and ask if you can meet up with him somewhere neutral. Don't let it sound as though you are going to drop anything too heavy on him because you don't want to frighten him off at this point.
To win ex boyfriend back make sure that when you meet him, you explain to him that you have thought long and hard about what happened in your relationship. You have done some work and sorted yourself out and you have found that you still have really strong feelings for him. Tell him you'd like another chance.
Give him the space to explain how he feels and what he wants. Don't get emotional or angry if you don't hear what you want to hear. If you need to give him time to think things over, then do that. Don't rush him, just leave and wait for him to call you. With any luck, you'll get the call you want and you'll be back together.
Well take it easy and don't go rushing head long into this, what you have on your side that the current girlfriend does not have is history! In your effort to win ex boyfriend back remember, history can sometimes over ride everything else and take precedence.
Now think about that history, those good times with your ex boyfriend. How good were they really, because clearly something went terribly wrong. With time we often slide on the old rose colored spectacles. So be sure that your memories are grounded in reality and not fantasy.
If you're not sure, before you go full on trying to win ex boyfriend back, ask a good friend who will tell you the truth and not only what you want to hear. Weigh up what your friend says and what you honestly know and feel and then make your decision about what you want to do.
If what you discover is that certain aspects of your behavior were primarily to blame for the break down in your ex relationship, then you need to find ways of amending that behavior. There's no point in trying to get back together with your ex if the reason he left you is still staring you both in the face. So deal with what needs to be dealt with on your part before you make any real attempt at reconciliation.
Assuming that you decide to go ahead and try and get your ex boyfriend back, you then need to make contact with him. Call him and ask if you can meet up with him somewhere neutral. Don't let it sound as though you are going to drop anything too heavy on him because you don't want to frighten him off at this point.
To win ex boyfriend back make sure that when you meet him, you explain to him that you have thought long and hard about what happened in your relationship. You have done some work and sorted yourself out and you have found that you still have really strong feelings for him. Tell him you'd like another chance.
Give him the space to explain how he feels and what he wants. Don't get emotional or angry if you don't hear what you want to hear. If you need to give him time to think things over, then do that. Don't rush him, just leave and wait for him to call you. With any luck, you'll get the call you want and you'll be back together.
How To Get Lover Back Even If You Made Mistakes
It is quite common for the person left to not really realize they are deeply in love with their ex until the ex has left the relationship. If this is you, then you no doubt want to discover how to get lover back before it's too late. But what you must not do is to allow the fact that you have made some mistakes to stop you in your attempt. It is very well documented that most of the relationships that break up could very easily be put back together again, if only one of those involved actually tried. So try!
There are some basic steps that you can take when you're looking into how to get lover back, you simply have to make sure that you get the details of these steps correct and that you spend a sufficient amount of time going through each step. How much time, varies from situation to situation and the real truth is that only you can judge the time that you think you might need.
If the relationship was a tumultuous up and down messy emotional one, then it is going to need a longer time to get over the initial mess of the break up. Longer than if your relationship was stable and less exacting. So be honest with yourself and be clear about what kind of relationship you had with your ex, because the truth right here will go a long way to helping you figure out how to get lover back.
A clue is that most people need at least a month on their own without contact with their ex to start the healing process. Don't try and bypass this alone time because without it most attempts at how to get lover back fail.
You are going to spend your alone time looking at the mistakes that you might have made and you are going to forgive yourself for those mistakes. If you try and get back with your ex and you have not forgive yourself, then how is it possible for your ex to fully forgive you. So be kind to yourself, accept your fallibility and forgive yourself.
That doesn't mean that you just draw a line under any mistakes that you may have made and forget about them. It means that you should then go on to figuring out how you can avoid such mistakes in the future, if the same or similar situations arise. Because you really do not want to get into a cycle of the same old things that keep on happening.
Once you're confident that you have the emotions and the reasons behind your mistakes sorted out, you are then ready to go ahead and actually make contact with your ex and ask to talk to them.
There are some basic steps that you can take when you're looking into how to get lover back, you simply have to make sure that you get the details of these steps correct and that you spend a sufficient amount of time going through each step. How much time, varies from situation to situation and the real truth is that only you can judge the time that you think you might need.
If the relationship was a tumultuous up and down messy emotional one, then it is going to need a longer time to get over the initial mess of the break up. Longer than if your relationship was stable and less exacting. So be honest with yourself and be clear about what kind of relationship you had with your ex, because the truth right here will go a long way to helping you figure out how to get lover back.
A clue is that most people need at least a month on their own without contact with their ex to start the healing process. Don't try and bypass this alone time because without it most attempts at how to get lover back fail.
You are going to spend your alone time looking at the mistakes that you might have made and you are going to forgive yourself for those mistakes. If you try and get back with your ex and you have not forgive yourself, then how is it possible for your ex to fully forgive you. So be kind to yourself, accept your fallibility and forgive yourself.
That doesn't mean that you just draw a line under any mistakes that you may have made and forget about them. It means that you should then go on to figuring out how you can avoid such mistakes in the future, if the same or similar situations arise. Because you really do not want to get into a cycle of the same old things that keep on happening.
Once you're confident that you have the emotions and the reasons behind your mistakes sorted out, you are then ready to go ahead and actually make contact with your ex and ask to talk to them.
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