Secret relationships sound exciting and adventurous, don’t they? Just having a secret is provocative, but when there’s romance and sex involved that makes the secret even juicier. Do you like to know why secret relationships have such a big appeal, and that people wonder why you’re smiling all the time?
Secret relationships aren’t uncommon. But you should also realize that they don’t always work. In fact, having a relationship that’s a secret can put a huge strain on you as a couple. The odds of this type of relationship only lasting a short time are pretty high.
It can be more difficult than you think to go very long without talking about the relationship. If it weren’t secret, you would probably mention your partner throughout the day in casual conversation. Even just mentioning something you saw together or talked about would be a natural thing to do.
But in secret relationships, you have to keep yourself from doing that. You might find it on the tip of your tongue to talk about your partner and have to catch yourself all the time. Having to censor yourself several times a day can be quite a source of stress.
Add to that your partner’s feelings about having to do the same thing. Between the two of you, that can add up to a lot of tension.
There’s also the worry about being seen together. People in hush-hush relationships don’t have the luxury of going out to a great restaurant for dinner. They can’t go see the latest movie together, or walk down the road holding hands.
There are exceptions to this. If you’re keeping the relationship secret because you’re good friends and you don’t want people to know it’s become more, you can still be seen together. But you’ll have to give only appearance of friendship around others.
Some relationships are kept secret for that very reason. Friends have become more than that but don't want to “jinx” the relationship. Or they decide that their group of friends might not understand. And they think maybe keeping it a secret is a good idea in case things don’t work out. Then the friends would never have to know.
Many coworkers who start dating keep the secret for the same reason. Things would just be easier at work if other people didn’t know, both while it’s happening and in case it ends. And with work situations, such dating might be discouraged making the secret necessary.
But by keeping it a secret for those reasons, it’s as if you’re saying that it’s probably not going to work out. At least, you’re showing that you have serious doubts about it. How healthy does it seem to be in a relationship that you must believe won’t last, so much so that you’re keeping it a secret?
While the relationship might be thrilling at first and seem like an adventure, the best way to have secret relationships is with the understanding that they’ll only be secret for a short time.
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Relationships 101: How To Save Your Relationship
You might think it’s too bad you can’t take a class called relationships 101 in college. They offer math, physics, literature and tons of classes, but a class on relationships is something that could help everyone. Fortunately, you have the skills already to save your relationship and make it better without needed a relationships 101 course.
Most relationships, no matter what happens, can be saved. There are a few relationships that shouldn’t be saved, like those that are abusive or really miserable. But most others have the potential to be fixed. That should be lesson number in any relationships 101 class.
The problem is, people give up too soon. They’re angry, hurt, upset and it just seems easiest to get out of the situation that made them that way. It’s all too easy to focus only on what’s happening now, and not the past.
If the relationship was good at one point, and most were or no one would have stayed in it very long, then it really can be that way again. But people have to look past the anger and the problems that are happening now, and remember those good times. That’s the only way they’ll even want to try to use relationships 101 theory to save the couple.
To cause further problems, often one person is ready to work hard at saving the relationship. But the other person won’t look past the bad to remember the good. That person is ready to chuck it all away. And can only person save a relationship?
Sometimes one person can do it, but it’s not easy. It’s hard to stay positive and hopeful when your boyfriend of girlfriend doesn’t act or feel the same. It can start to feel like you’re fighting a losing battle.
Relationships 101 lesson #2: Keep fighting the battle, because even if the relationship doesn’t heal, it will make you a better person. That’s because the things you’ll do to try to save the relationship are simply good for you, and good for the other person, too.
It’s very important to remember the way you behaved with the relationship was new and going strong. Compare that to how you behave with that person now. And turn things around by acting the way you used to, and doing the things you used to.
Strive to be polite again just as you were in the beginning. Be thoughtful and be a good friend to the person whenever you can, even if you’re not going to get anything out of it. Don’t beg them to come back, tell them they need to come back, or threaten what will happen if they don’t come back.
When faced with someone acting like that, would you want to be with that person again? Tell yourself that you’ll survive no matter what happens, but do your very best to show them the person they want to be with again. Best the best “you” no matter what is the best relationships 101 lesson there is.
Most relationships, no matter what happens, can be saved. There are a few relationships that shouldn’t be saved, like those that are abusive or really miserable. But most others have the potential to be fixed. That should be lesson number in any relationships 101 class.
The problem is, people give up too soon. They’re angry, hurt, upset and it just seems easiest to get out of the situation that made them that way. It’s all too easy to focus only on what’s happening now, and not the past.
If the relationship was good at one point, and most were or no one would have stayed in it very long, then it really can be that way again. But people have to look past the anger and the problems that are happening now, and remember those good times. That’s the only way they’ll even want to try to use relationships 101 theory to save the couple.
To cause further problems, often one person is ready to work hard at saving the relationship. But the other person won’t look past the bad to remember the good. That person is ready to chuck it all away. And can only person save a relationship?
Sometimes one person can do it, but it’s not easy. It’s hard to stay positive and hopeful when your boyfriend of girlfriend doesn’t act or feel the same. It can start to feel like you’re fighting a losing battle.
Relationships 101 lesson #2: Keep fighting the battle, because even if the relationship doesn’t heal, it will make you a better person. That’s because the things you’ll do to try to save the relationship are simply good for you, and good for the other person, too.
It’s very important to remember the way you behaved with the relationship was new and going strong. Compare that to how you behave with that person now. And turn things around by acting the way you used to, and doing the things you used to.
Strive to be polite again just as you were in the beginning. Be thoughtful and be a good friend to the person whenever you can, even if you’re not going to get anything out of it. Don’t beg them to come back, tell them they need to come back, or threaten what will happen if they don’t come back.
When faced with someone acting like that, would you want to be with that person again? Tell yourself that you’ll survive no matter what happens, but do your very best to show them the person they want to be with again. Best the best “you” no matter what is the best relationships 101 lesson there is.
Understanding The Wife Husband Relationship
The wife husband relationship can be a complicated one. Many marriages fail because one or both partners don’t really understand the dynamic of the relationship. If even one person has a basic understanding of it, the marriage is bound to be stronger. But if both people understand how a wife husband relationship works, then it has the best chance of being a good marriage.
One of the keys to understanding the wife husband relationship is to realize just how different men and women really are. Aside from the obvious physical differences, the sexes are different emotionally and mentally, too.
When faced with a problem, for instance, men and women tend to approach it from completely different angles. Women are more likely to discuss it with other people. They might get advice and input from a few friends. It’s not uncommon for women to talk about the problem at length.
That’s because women solve problems when they talk about them. They explore all the angles of the issue and how they feel about it, and often in doing so a solution appears.
Men, on the other hand, tend to be more tight-lipped about problems. They think about it more than they talk about it. It’s more common for a man to ponder a problem and say little until he’s figured out the solution.
In the wife husband relationship this difference in problem solving can itself be a problem. He might think that she’s talking it to death when she should be trying to figure it out herself. And she might think he’s not even worried about something because he’s not talking about it .When in reality, it’s on his mind all the time and he’s just not pointing it out.
Sometimes, women tend to talk about things that they don’t necessarily want help with, or advice about. They simply want someone to listen to their opinion and thoughts. Where if a man is talking about something, it’s because he wants an answer.
If a woman is talking about something just to get it off her chest or vent, other women tend to get that and offer support. They don’t try to tell her what to do for the most part, but simply join in the conversation in empathy.
A man might simply state a solution and tell the woman what she should do, thinking he’s being very helpful and doing what he’s supposed to. But really, the woman will feel that he’s not listening and instead just trying to end the conversation.
Of course, not every wife husband relationship will happen exactly like these examples. Some men will talk out a problem and some women will be tight-lipped about it. But in general, the sexes can be expected to follow these typically patterns.
Understanding those patterns can help you stop yourself before you do something that’s natural to you. You can think about what your partner needs from you instead, and do that .Your wife husband relationship will be much stronger and happier because of it.
One of the keys to understanding the wife husband relationship is to realize just how different men and women really are. Aside from the obvious physical differences, the sexes are different emotionally and mentally, too.
When faced with a problem, for instance, men and women tend to approach it from completely different angles. Women are more likely to discuss it with other people. They might get advice and input from a few friends. It’s not uncommon for women to talk about the problem at length.
That’s because women solve problems when they talk about them. They explore all the angles of the issue and how they feel about it, and often in doing so a solution appears.
Men, on the other hand, tend to be more tight-lipped about problems. They think about it more than they talk about it. It’s more common for a man to ponder a problem and say little until he’s figured out the solution.
In the wife husband relationship this difference in problem solving can itself be a problem. He might think that she’s talking it to death when she should be trying to figure it out herself. And she might think he’s not even worried about something because he’s not talking about it .When in reality, it’s on his mind all the time and he’s just not pointing it out.
Sometimes, women tend to talk about things that they don’t necessarily want help with, or advice about. They simply want someone to listen to their opinion and thoughts. Where if a man is talking about something, it’s because he wants an answer.
If a woman is talking about something just to get it off her chest or vent, other women tend to get that and offer support. They don’t try to tell her what to do for the most part, but simply join in the conversation in empathy.
A man might simply state a solution and tell the woman what she should do, thinking he’s being very helpful and doing what he’s supposed to. But really, the woman will feel that he’s not listening and instead just trying to end the conversation.
Of course, not every wife husband relationship will happen exactly like these examples. Some men will talk out a problem and some women will be tight-lipped about it. But in general, the sexes can be expected to follow these typically patterns.
Understanding those patterns can help you stop yourself before you do something that’s natural to you. You can think about what your partner needs from you instead, and do that .Your wife husband relationship will be much stronger and happier because of it.
Are You In The Right Relationship
How can you tell if you’re in the right relationship? Have you made a mistake by getting back together with this person, only you can’t see it yet? Sometimes during a break up the only thing you want is the other person. But once you’re back together you question if you’re in the right relationship.
There’s no foolproof way to determine if this person is the right one for you. The only thing you can figure out if you’re in the right relationship at the time. Things can change, but for right now you can look around and see if this is the right place to be.
You have to ask yourself several questions to figure out if this relationship is right for you today. Start with, are you happy? You won’t be skipping and picking flowers every second, of course, but in general you should feel happy to be with that person.
You may have a doubt now and then or a bad feeling, but if your feelings toward the person and the relationship are mostly positive, then you could be in a great relationship. Don’t let the odd doubt or strange feeling make you wonder if you’ve made a mistake.
When you do feel doubt or feel sad, why do you? Is it because you’re wondering about a specific other person and thinking that you might be with them instead? Or are they just general thoughts about the possibilities you might be missing if you weren’t in this relationship?
Everyone thinks things like that from time to time. But if you’re preoccupied by “what ifs” and “if only” thoughts, you might not be in the right relationship after all.
Do you feel safe in the relationship? This applies to feeling physically safe, as in your partner would never hit or abuse you. And it also applies to feeling emotionally safe. You feel that they would not want to hurt you for the world.
Do you feel safe from the threat of a break up? Or do you worry about your partner cheating often? If you spend a lot of your time in the relationship wondering if the other person is capable of cheating, then you might not be with the right person.
If you think the person is cheating, then you’re spending a lot of time being suspicious and questioning his or her motives. That’s no way to spend your days. You need to figure out if your doubts are reasonable.
Would that person actually cheat or do you think those things from your own insecurities? If you really don’t trust the other person, you shouldn’t be in a relationship with them. That will only serve to make you miserable and suspicious, and can end badly for both of you.
Do you feel special? If you feel like you’re constantly fighting for the other person’s attention and affection, you might look for someone else. You should feel like the person most important to them if you’re in the right relationship.
There’s no foolproof way to determine if this person is the right one for you. The only thing you can figure out if you’re in the right relationship at the time. Things can change, but for right now you can look around and see if this is the right place to be.
You have to ask yourself several questions to figure out if this relationship is right for you today. Start with, are you happy? You won’t be skipping and picking flowers every second, of course, but in general you should feel happy to be with that person.
You may have a doubt now and then or a bad feeling, but if your feelings toward the person and the relationship are mostly positive, then you could be in a great relationship. Don’t let the odd doubt or strange feeling make you wonder if you’ve made a mistake.
When you do feel doubt or feel sad, why do you? Is it because you’re wondering about a specific other person and thinking that you might be with them instead? Or are they just general thoughts about the possibilities you might be missing if you weren’t in this relationship?
Everyone thinks things like that from time to time. But if you’re preoccupied by “what ifs” and “if only” thoughts, you might not be in the right relationship after all.
Do you feel safe in the relationship? This applies to feeling physically safe, as in your partner would never hit or abuse you. And it also applies to feeling emotionally safe. You feel that they would not want to hurt you for the world.
Do you feel safe from the threat of a break up? Or do you worry about your partner cheating often? If you spend a lot of your time in the relationship wondering if the other person is capable of cheating, then you might not be with the right person.
If you think the person is cheating, then you’re spending a lot of time being suspicious and questioning his or her motives. That’s no way to spend your days. You need to figure out if your doubts are reasonable.
Would that person actually cheat or do you think those things from your own insecurities? If you really don’t trust the other person, you shouldn’t be in a relationship with them. That will only serve to make you miserable and suspicious, and can end badly for both of you.
Do you feel special? If you feel like you’re constantly fighting for the other person’s attention and affection, you might look for someone else. You should feel like the person most important to them if you’re in the right relationship.
7 Top Signs Of Cheating In A Relationship
If you suspect your partner at all, you should look for signs of cheating in a relationship. Usually if you see smoke, a fire is burning somewhere. So if you have doubt in your partner’s fidelity, there’s probably a reason.
Remember that just because you see signs of cheating in a relationship, though, that doesn’t necessarily mean that cheating is going on. Once you’ve seen the signs, you’ll have to look further to determine if cheating is really happening.
And sometimes there are no signs of cheating in a relationship and yet cheating is going on. It’s not an easy position to be in, to have to figure these things out.
The following signs can certainly lead you one direction or another. Don’t make a decision just based on one or even a few of them. But a lot of evidence can certainly let you know that something may be wrong, and you may want to look at little closer.
• Secret cell phone conversations are one of the top signs. If your partner leaves the room every time the cell phone rings, you have to wonder why. Were they taught that’s polite? If they’re at all strange acting about the conversation, you should pay attention.
• Sudden change in hygiene is common when someone is having an affair. If your partner never goes to any special trouble for you to make sure he or she looks and smells good, a change in this could be worrisome. If they’re making themselves nice for you, that’s great. If they’re dolling up to go out, you have to wonder why.
• More arguments can be one of the signs of cheating in a relationship. Particularly if it seems your partner is starting the argument for no reason and then storming out because of it. It could be just an excuse to leave and have some time away from you without having to come up with another excuse.
• Catching your partner in a lie can mean trouble. Even the smallest lie shows that person’s willingness to lie in general. Look for connections between that lie and the possibility of an affair.
• An increase in computer time can be a bad sign. If your partner is spending hours online after you’re in bed or while you’re doing other things, it could be an affair.
• A common sign of cheating is if your friends act strange. They might know something you don’t and feel uncomfortable around you.
• And a painfully common sign of cheating is if your partner accuses you of cheating or hints that he thinks you might be having an affair. Very often, that’s a guilty conscious talking and you’re being accused of the thing that’s causing him or her guilt.
The only way to know for sure is to have real evidence. So remember that even though these are common signs of cheating in a relationship, none of them can be used to prove an affair is occurring.
Remember that just because you see signs of cheating in a relationship, though, that doesn’t necessarily mean that cheating is going on. Once you’ve seen the signs, you’ll have to look further to determine if cheating is really happening.
And sometimes there are no signs of cheating in a relationship and yet cheating is going on. It’s not an easy position to be in, to have to figure these things out.
The following signs can certainly lead you one direction or another. Don’t make a decision just based on one or even a few of them. But a lot of evidence can certainly let you know that something may be wrong, and you may want to look at little closer.
• Secret cell phone conversations are one of the top signs. If your partner leaves the room every time the cell phone rings, you have to wonder why. Were they taught that’s polite? If they’re at all strange acting about the conversation, you should pay attention.
• Sudden change in hygiene is common when someone is having an affair. If your partner never goes to any special trouble for you to make sure he or she looks and smells good, a change in this could be worrisome. If they’re making themselves nice for you, that’s great. If they’re dolling up to go out, you have to wonder why.
• More arguments can be one of the signs of cheating in a relationship. Particularly if it seems your partner is starting the argument for no reason and then storming out because of it. It could be just an excuse to leave and have some time away from you without having to come up with another excuse.
• Catching your partner in a lie can mean trouble. Even the smallest lie shows that person’s willingness to lie in general. Look for connections between that lie and the possibility of an affair.
• An increase in computer time can be a bad sign. If your partner is spending hours online after you’re in bed or while you’re doing other things, it could be an affair.
• A common sign of cheating is if your friends act strange. They might know something you don’t and feel uncomfortable around you.
• And a painfully common sign of cheating is if your partner accuses you of cheating or hints that he thinks you might be having an affair. Very often, that’s a guilty conscious talking and you’re being accused of the thing that’s causing him or her guilt.
The only way to know for sure is to have real evidence. So remember that even though these are common signs of cheating in a relationship, none of them can be used to prove an affair is occurring.
Relationships And Cheating How To Get Over It
Does it seem like relationships and cheating go to together like chocolate and peanut butter? It can start to when everyone you know has had someone cheat on them. And chances are that you’ve had someone cheat on you. Or when it comes to relationships and cheating, you were the one doing the cheating.
Cheating hurts. It hurts the person who’s being cheated on, and believe it or not, it hurts the cheater. The cheater has to hide what he’s doing, probably has to lie to keep it a secret and has to feel the guilt that goes with it.
Even if he or she doesn’t seem guilty, they probably secret feel guilty. When there are relationships and cheating occurs, that doesn’t mean the end of the relationship every time.
You’ve been in a relationship and you’ve been cheated on, and you’ve gotten back together or you’ve never broken up. Can you really make it work now that the other person has cheated? How do you get over it? Will he cheat again?
It’s not easy to save these relationships, and cheating is something that can sometimes happen more than once. But if you can truly rebuild your trust in the other person, then you can stay together and be happy.
Do you know why the person cheated on you? That’s a very important consideration in whether you’ll be able to trust them not to cheat on you again. Were things not good in your relationship at the time, or was it just convenient and just “happened?” You should be able to have a calm discussion about these reasons.
If the reasons turn out to be things like he or she was simply bored that day and the opportunity came along, then you may have problems. If the other person can give no better reasons for hurting you that way, you may want to consider whether you really can forgive them to be happy. It won’t be easy.
If you were having problems, then at least the other person may have thought that the relationship was going to end anyway. They might have felt ignored or undervalued. This is not to give them a good excuse for cheating—they were wrong. But it can help you to understand what they were thinking at the time and you can work on the problems together.
Relationships and cheating are a curious mixture, with some couples able to move on quite well after the devastation of an affair. Sometimes, though, the person who was cheating on can’t get over it. To stay in the relationship when there’s no trust there, and he or she fears that the other will cheat at any time, can be a miserable thing to do.
The constant suspicions can make you miserable, and can make the other person feel under a microscope 24/7. You have to decide to trust the person not to hurt you again, and let go of the fear even though it can be very hard to do in relationships and cheating situations.
Cheating hurts. It hurts the person who’s being cheated on, and believe it or not, it hurts the cheater. The cheater has to hide what he’s doing, probably has to lie to keep it a secret and has to feel the guilt that goes with it.
Even if he or she doesn’t seem guilty, they probably secret feel guilty. When there are relationships and cheating occurs, that doesn’t mean the end of the relationship every time.
You’ve been in a relationship and you’ve been cheated on, and you’ve gotten back together or you’ve never broken up. Can you really make it work now that the other person has cheated? How do you get over it? Will he cheat again?
It’s not easy to save these relationships, and cheating is something that can sometimes happen more than once. But if you can truly rebuild your trust in the other person, then you can stay together and be happy.
Do you know why the person cheated on you? That’s a very important consideration in whether you’ll be able to trust them not to cheat on you again. Were things not good in your relationship at the time, or was it just convenient and just “happened?” You should be able to have a calm discussion about these reasons.
If the reasons turn out to be things like he or she was simply bored that day and the opportunity came along, then you may have problems. If the other person can give no better reasons for hurting you that way, you may want to consider whether you really can forgive them to be happy. It won’t be easy.
If you were having problems, then at least the other person may have thought that the relationship was going to end anyway. They might have felt ignored or undervalued. This is not to give them a good excuse for cheating—they were wrong. But it can help you to understand what they were thinking at the time and you can work on the problems together.
Relationships and cheating are a curious mixture, with some couples able to move on quite well after the devastation of an affair. Sometimes, though, the person who was cheating on can’t get over it. To stay in the relationship when there’s no trust there, and he or she fears that the other will cheat at any time, can be a miserable thing to do.
The constant suspicions can make you miserable, and can make the other person feel under a microscope 24/7. You have to decide to trust the person not to hurt you again, and let go of the fear even though it can be very hard to do in relationships and cheating situations.
Do You Need Space In A Relationship
How much space in a relationship is necessary? The answer depends a lot on the type of relationship it is, and each person in it. Some people do better when they’re together constantly, and others crave more of their own space in a relationship.
The hard part is finding a happy medium that both people are comfortable with. This is made more difficult when you each have very different ideas about togetherness and space. But as long as you can compromise on the level of space in a relationship that you both need, then you can work through this challenge.
Some people don’t like to be alone. They’re much happier spending all their time with coworkers, friends, family and their partner. When they’re alone and doing things on their own they feel a little lost and lonely.
Other people cherish their alone time. Without a little solitude every day they feel burdened and have a hard time relaxing. They feel that they always have to be “up” or “on” for other people when they’re around them, and it can be exhausting.
Those are two extremes, of course. There are also a lot of people who fall somewhere in the middle. They love the time they spend with their partner, but they also want some me-time to balance it out and recharge.
If both of you fall into that happy medium, then defining your space in a relationship should be pretty easy. And if you each fall into the same extreme group, where you both need lots of space or you both dislike being alone, things are made easier, too.
The problems come when one has a very different idea than the other. If you love your solitude and your partner hates being alone, you really need to talk and set some boundaries. Each needs to understand the other’s point of view so you can come up with a compromise that makes you both feel your needs are met.
If you love being alone each day for a while and your partner craves company 24/7, here’s the problem. When you say you need space in a relationship and go off on your own, your partner will feel neglected as if you don’t want to be around because of them.
And if you hate being alone and your partner really wants some me-time, then by hanging around constantly you can start to make your partner feel smothered. Your partner might also think that there’s no trust there, and you won’t give him or her private time because you’re afraid of what he or she might do when you’re not around.
You can see how both of these situations could quickly cause problems in a relationship. But if you talk to each other honestly and openly about how you feel, then when you need time your partner will understand why.
And when he or she hangs around when you'd rather be alone, you recognize that he or she doesn’t need the same kind of space in a relationship that you do.
The hard part is finding a happy medium that both people are comfortable with. This is made more difficult when you each have very different ideas about togetherness and space. But as long as you can compromise on the level of space in a relationship that you both need, then you can work through this challenge.
Some people don’t like to be alone. They’re much happier spending all their time with coworkers, friends, family and their partner. When they’re alone and doing things on their own they feel a little lost and lonely.
Other people cherish their alone time. Without a little solitude every day they feel burdened and have a hard time relaxing. They feel that they always have to be “up” or “on” for other people when they’re around them, and it can be exhausting.
Those are two extremes, of course. There are also a lot of people who fall somewhere in the middle. They love the time they spend with their partner, but they also want some me-time to balance it out and recharge.
If both of you fall into that happy medium, then defining your space in a relationship should be pretty easy. And if you each fall into the same extreme group, where you both need lots of space or you both dislike being alone, things are made easier, too.
The problems come when one has a very different idea than the other. If you love your solitude and your partner hates being alone, you really need to talk and set some boundaries. Each needs to understand the other’s point of view so you can come up with a compromise that makes you both feel your needs are met.
If you love being alone each day for a while and your partner craves company 24/7, here’s the problem. When you say you need space in a relationship and go off on your own, your partner will feel neglected as if you don’t want to be around because of them.
And if you hate being alone and your partner really wants some me-time, then by hanging around constantly you can start to make your partner feel smothered. Your partner might also think that there’s no trust there, and you won’t give him or her private time because you’re afraid of what he or she might do when you’re not around.
You can see how both of these situations could quickly cause problems in a relationship. But if you talk to each other honestly and openly about how you feel, then when you need time your partner will understand why.
And when he or she hangs around when you'd rather be alone, you recognize that he or she doesn’t need the same kind of space in a relationship that you do.
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